Paradise Lost… Forever!
Of all of the recent headlines in the news the past few weeks, including Tsunamis, War, Genocide, Murder, et cetera… The bit of news that has affected me the most, above all the rest, was hearing that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were calling it quits, splitting up after four years. I have now lost all faith in humanity. If they can’t last as a couple, then what hope do the rest of us have? The sanctity of marriage is really in dire trouble, now. I mean, this was the only celebrity marriage that I was actually pulling for. Why? Because I wanted to see babies! Can you imagine the kind of kids these two would pop out? They would be fucking Demigods among mere mortals, being bred with the genes of both Brad and Jen. Look at Jen… she’s absolutely gorgeous! What guy, in his right mind, would pass her up? And Brad is the type of guy that makes you question your heterosexuality… I mean really question it… like sit down for an hour after watching Troy, with him naked half the time, or half naked all the time, watching him run and seeing those muscles flexing… Oh, God… hold on, I need a second… (takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly)… Okay, I’m better. So, yeah. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston = HOT!, and their kids would have been just as steaming. So, for the sake of us all, Brad and Jen, stay together for the kids! Could you really be so selfish as to deny the world of them?