Kyle Kerr

Inspiration, You Devil!

09/18/08 | On Writing | 8 Comments

My world got all kinds of busted up the other day.  Well, the one in my head, that is.  You all know which one I’m talking about, right?  The little world all of us writers live in?  Yeah, that one!

Here I’ve been, bitching and moaning that I haven’t written anything in months, that I just don’t have the urge.  Apparently, all I needed to do was go FUCK THE URGE, I’m writing anyway.  And you know what?  I did just that.  Two days ago, for the first time in over four months, I sat down and just wrote.  For about an hour and a half.  And spat out over 1,100 words.  Not bad, I say!

I found that writing without inspiration is very much like writing WITH it… except I don’t have that doofy grin on my face.  The voice of my main character was still there, ready to talk.  I just had to let him.  What came as the biggest shock was that it was up to my usual standard of writing.  Its quality wasn’t diminished because I lacked the usual inspiration.  Granted, it may have been a little harder to get the words out, but they still came.  So, apparently, inspiration can suck it.

There, I said it!

At the height of my productivity, I can write a 10,000 word story in three days, so about 3,300 words a day is the best I’ve done (to memory… could have been more without me realizing it).  In theory, I should be able to write a decently sized first draft (100-120k words) in about 30-36 days.  BUT, considering that pace is RIDICULOUS for the long term, I’d say something like three months would be far more likely, if I wrote between 1-1.5k words per day.  Which is an extremely doable pace for me!  Then take the next three months for revisions and editing.  At which rate I could potentially write two books a year, which I think is INSANE (though it is a slightly exciting revelation!).

What I’ve got to do is work on my discipline.  I’m a very lazy writer, and I’m the first to admit to that.  I’ve mostly been relying on “inspiration” for the past few years, writing in bursts when the urge hits me, but I know now that I can’t do that if I ever want to realize my dreams of becoming a fulltime writer.  Writing is work, and if all anyone ever did was rely on inspiration, then there wouldn’t be so many books out there now.

I never wanted writing to become work, because I thought I wouldn’t want to do it then.  Kind of like when I was younger and discovered the pleasures of cooking for the first time.  I really enjoyed it at first, but then my parents turned it into a chore for me, and it lost its appeal.  Surely the same would happen with writing, no?  But then another realization struck: there are people all over the world who LOVE their jobs.  They’re still doing work, technically, but they’re enjoying doing it.  Who says that writing would be any less fun if I had to do it to make a living?

A friend pointed something out to me after reading my last blog post… in the same entry, I basically declare how brilliant I am and simultaneously knock myself down by saying I suck and haven’t written in four months.  Now, I never meant for that bit about Steve saying I was a good writer to sound narcissistic, but to note my shock that he would say so (and there was a little pride in there as well, I admit).  She then said something that really got me thinking: “If Steve knew you weren’t writing, he’d lose all respect for you.”

And she’s absolutely right.

I’m unemployed at the moment, as I’ve noted.  Yes, I have a few stresses, but no real excuse about why I can’t write.  Did Stephen King stop writing after being hit by a car?  Did Anne Rice stop writing after her daughter died at a young age?  Did Jo Rowling stop writing when she was so close to being homeless?  No.  And look what’s happened for all of them!  (I’m not comparing myself to them at all, but they are the most tragic writer scenarios I could think of to prove my point!  And yes, I know SK got hit AFTER he was already über successful… but he’s bounced back almost tenfold!)

A new declaration: Writing is now my job.  Regardless of what happens in the near future as a means to make money, any other “job” I get will be part-time in comparison to my writing.  I’m not setting any goals right now as far as daily productivity, though I still have a personal deadline of finishing all revisions on my novel by October 31.  I’m going to need everyone’s help to remind me of this deadline, and make me feel guilty if I’m not doing my job.  Local friends and family: if you see me watching TV or a movie I’ve seen a bajillion times, ask me why I’m not writing.  Distant friends and family: occasional reminders that I should be writing or inquiries into how it’s all going would be appreciated!

As soon as this entry is posted, I’m packing up my laptop and going back to the local diner where I managed my last successful writing day.  No internet, no TV, no couch/bed to nap on… just my computer and my imagination!

To writing!

Until next…

Kyle W. Kerr